Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
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