i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
