i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
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