I don't usually arrange sex via text message
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
Randomize
