i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
