The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
Randomize
