Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
Randomize
