Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
Randomize
