Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Randomize
