Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
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