We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
he told me I talked like a deaf person
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
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