hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
That reminds me...we need to get swords
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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