My hair reeks of homosexuality.
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
It's rum buckets o'clock
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize
