Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
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