My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
you called me at 4 in the morning to tell me that your toaster burnt your english muffin, and that you "fuckin hated that thing."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
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