How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
