is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
Randomize
