Moan for me like Helen Keller
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Randomize
