There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
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