It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
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