Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
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