just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
My feet surprised me
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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