shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
