Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
Randomize
