so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
