Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
Randomize
