So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
Randomize
