We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
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