you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
Randomize
