Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
Drunk dialed the ex last nigh; turns out I miss dialed. The stranger who answered played along and apologized for sleeping with my cousin. She sent me a txt this morning to let me know.
Kindest stranger ever. Marry that girl.
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Randomize
