a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
