Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
Randomize
