My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
Randomize
