kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
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