i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
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