She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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