It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
Randomize
