Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
You smell like a Billy Joel song
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
Naked. naked and bneed help.
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
Randomize
