My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
Randomize
