he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
Randomize
