The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
Why are your pants in the freezer?
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