That's when you crack a 10am beer
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Randomize
