Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize
