I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Randomize
