Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
Randomize
