i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
Of course I have a pirate flag
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
Randomize
