Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
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