this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
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