thus making me awesome and them whores
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
Randomize
