cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
I could have mohawked her pubes.
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
Alive.
So much puke
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
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