dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
Randomize
