yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize