Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
Randomize
