oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
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