I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
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