What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
You took a bar mat shot.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
Randomize
