Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Randomize
