tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
Randomize
