i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
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