After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
