new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
Randomize
