The maid of honor just puked.
I wannas sexs uuuuu
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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